The Weft and Weave of Wyrd

Wow, life is just never boring.

Thursday my best friend's mother dropped dead, suddenly, from a massive heart attack. Out of nowhere, at my friend's home. She was only 57.

Last night my 43 year old sister while up here in Atlanta with our mother to load a trailer up to take back to S. GA. for our other sister who moved back a month ago -- called out to me in at about 1:15am. She is a cardiac-nurse-practitioner, and here she was instructing me to call 911, that she believed she was having a heart attack. She's stable, and ok, and as of right now appears to not have had one -- but something cardiac occurred.

You just never completely Know the weft and weave of the Wyrd of Life... do you? I was fascinating by several odd synchronicities over night, the ER doctor who did his internship in S. GA. with people we know, another comment he made about a treasure hunter (long story), the phone number to her room being the same phone number from when my other sister was in that same hospital, yet a different room number.

And today... today is a gorgeous spring day. The birds are singing, flying here and there tending nests, my son is up playing with his friend in the yard, our crazy dog is still, well, crazy. And life goes on.

Yes, never ever boring.

Forgive? Move past? Rage against wrong?

I'm at an interesting spiritual point. You see I find it very hard to forgive, very hard to move past spiritual betrayal. Years ago there was a group I was a member of, a group that truly became a family. Part of me was willing to accept the status quo, and simply be happy -- part of what was being built was really, really good. Part of it however just wouldn't sit, wouldn't lie still, wouldn't simple be ignored. And it was a part filled with lies, betrayal, illusions, and I even think mental illness. Who was the member to uncover this? You guessed it, me. Go figure! And of course in the process I became the whipping boy... I became the one who was wrong, and evil - at least for a short period of time until the entire group fell to pieces, and everyone eventually turning their back on the leader/teacher/founder.

And she is still around. Part of me is happy that she seems happy, she seems to have been able to put her life back together, in a new way, which suits her. She is back with her husband, has a book now self-published, and truly seems to be thriving. Part of me know she is still "the Piglet" though, part of me knows that she is still lost partially in illusion, and that she still is willing to blame me for all that occurred, taking NO responsibility herself.

Interestingly enough I keep stumbling upon things having to do with her. I'm not sure what it all means - other than part of me has to finally cut all the remaining bonds, ties, oaths, and let it go. But see, I'm not sure how to do that 100%.

I'm a work in progress. I look to the Ancestors and the Gods for guidance. I look to my favorite trees, plants, and animals for guidance. I look to the Scales and Wings to help me figure this puzzle out. What is right is right, and what is wrong is wrong. That I know I cannot compromise, cannot let go of. From there, we shall see how this all works out. Life is never boring!

Spiritual Splinters

I've reached a growth point, another I'm sure in a long road of many. I realize that I have a huge "spiritual splinter" in my Heart that I must remove. I have hurt, deep hurt, anger, hatred, and yes, even love there. I need to resolve this, fully let go of it, and move onward. Now of course is the how to do that? How to completely unweave this last remaining remanent of a time, oath, person, now past?

I'm working on it. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm working on it. Sometimes that is the best any of us can do.